Using Family of Origin
to Transform Relationship

with Terrence Real 
& Special Guest 
Dr. Richard Schwartz

Terrence Real
Terry is the bestselling author of I Dont Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and How Can I Get Through to You?: Reconnecting Men and Women. He has been a practicing family therapist for over twenty years and has lectured across the country. 
His work has been featured on NBC Nightly News, Today, Good Morning America, and Oprah, as well as in The New York Times, Psychology Today, Esquire, and numerous academic publications. 
Welcome to This Special Teleclass Training
on Love and Trauma

Dear Colleagues & Friends,

I'm excited to let you know about this upcoming course because it is the intersection of two topics that are so important to me and in our world today, love and trauma. These topics have been at the core of my work and I'll be sharing some new ideas that I've never released before.

As therapists, we often see our clients come to us to resolve and heal trauma. Sometimes this trauma is known and often it is unknown or blocked. Clients want out of pain and this is often the primary driver that gets them to make the appointment and show up in our office to do the work to heal.

When a client comes to us, we have to excavate the wounds slowly, with the client's readiness. As you go deeper, the client's physical, mental and emotional knots begin to relax.

But this is only half of the story. Once the trauma begins resolving, space is created for something new to emerge. 

It is at this point in the journey that we can help our clients fully open themselves up to giving and receiving love. This sacred moment affects not only the client's current relationships—bringing love to trauma releases the generations that preceded the client's life and spares the generations that follow.

There is a natural progression and flow between trauma and love that has extraordinary potential...and as therapists, if we can understand how this flow works, then we can help our clients and be of highest service to them.

On this page, you will find out more details. I invite you to join me today for this special training.


Terry Real
"All relationships are an endless dance of harmony, disharmony, and repair."

Terry Real
The impact of trauma and multigenerational legacy on our intimate relationships cannot be overstated. We'll look at how to help couples handle moments of mutual triggering—when the past floods the present for each of them.

"I can't thank you enough for the help you gave me. 
I was always trying to help others while never dealing with my own issues. 
I figured if I ignored them, they would go away on their own. 
Terry helped me face them head on and not be afraid of them. " 

—Jason H.
"We all marry our mothers and fathers"
And we all become our mothers and fathers. The relational patterns we grew up with become our largely unconscious templates for what marriage looks like. All experienced couples therapists know this—but the question is what to do with it.
Through lecture, discussion and exercise, this teleseminar training will prepare participants to go deep into childhood issues with each partner in the presence of the other. We will look at: 

- When and how to go up a generation, and what to do when you’re up there
- How to use Family of Origin (FOO) history to unearth resonances—patterns of repetition and replay
- How to work with trauma in one partner to relax that person’s defensiveness and increase empathy in the other
- How to use patterns inherited from childhood to shift attitudes and behaviors in the present
- How to shift the current dynamic by inviting partners to transform multigenerational legacies
- How to use family of origin material masterfully and effectively

The teleclass will offer specific practical techniques for moving from the current interactive pattern into family of origin, permanently shifting chronic dysfunctional behaviors.

1. Understand the impact of childhood experience and family patterns on current relationships
2. Learn when and how to bring up FOO in couples therapy
3. Learn how to discern and use patterns of repetition across generations

"I am grateful for having this training.  
I have witnessed progress with my couples I did not see before my training. 
It has enhanced and strengthened my skills as a clinician 
and I hope you can conduct more training in Canada." 

—Sheri W.

Love & Trauma Teleclass
Five 60-minute training calls with Terry
Each class includes Q&A session
Recordings & transcripts of each call (you will be able to listen at your convenience)
5 Continuing Education Credits available

They're Here: Family of Origin in the Present  
They're Here
- In-law problems
- Enmeshment and entitlement
- The boundary of primacy
- On being healthy in a dysfunctional family

They're Inside Us
  - Keeping a parent spiritual company (loyalty to the introject)   
How to Get From Present Issue to Family of Origin
Getting to Present
- Through stance
- Through affect
- Through data

How to Explore the Generation Above
- Articulating the dynamic        
- Using the seven lenses   

Scanning for Resonance
An Expanded Model of Trauma
- The Trauma Grid
- Dealing with empathic reversal
- The tripartite psyche
- Working with adaptive children
How to Use Family of Origin Material in Therapy
- Identifying and working with family roles
- Pathways of internalization and how to work with them
      - Trauma
      - Social learning
- The reactive parent
- The model parent (positively and negatively held)
- Using Family of Origin to render behavior repulsive (dystonic)
- Placing the current dynamic in the context of multigenerational legacy ("you are a pioneer")
- Drawing upon FOO strengths (“imagine your uncle behind you")
- Pass it back or pass it on—using children as leverage
- Inner child work—empowering the functional adult
- Breaking the legacy—surpassing one’s parents
- Rituals—second weddings and graveside prayers

Mutual Triggering and Losing Strategies: How We Betray Each Other
- Recreating our Family of Origin drama
- Corrective dramas—healing our mothers and fathers
- Transmitted shame
- Carried feelings
- Mastering disaster—coming back from betrayal
- Coming back from addiction and codependency
- Coming back from infidelity
- Celebrating a new legacy—forging a new future
"This work is absolutely transformative and has changed my life for the better in every single relationship in my world. Every day I thank God for finding you and for your help—and I am not a very religious/devout person. I think we would live in a much less violent society if every single couple and every single parent had access to this 
work. Deepest gratitude!" 

—Maryellen P.
1. What It Takes to Heal
Dialogue with Special guest Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Terry Real

Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, is on the faculty of the Family Institute at Northwestern University. Co-editor of Handbook of Family Therapy Training and Supervision, he is co-author of three books and author of over 40 articles on a variety of topics in psychotherapy. He serves on the editorial boards of five professional journals and is a fellow of the American Association of Marital and Family Therapists.

2. Case Consultation Class
Putting It All Together with Terry Real (60 min. call)

Participants will be encouraged to submit a case for the group. Terry will strategize the best therapy approach for the individual or couple in the case. The call will be open for group feedback and discussion.
"Some of the things I love about Terry Real and his work are the practical steps, 
down-to-earth guidance and his model of having the courage 
and respect to be honest with couples when one partner is behaving 
in a way that needs to be addressed first.

—Rachel M.

   Five 60-minute training calls with Terry (value $350)

   Bonus call with Dr. Richard Schwartz (value $90)

  Bonus 60-minute case consult call (value $90)

  Recordings & transcript of all 7 calls (value $175)

5 Continuing Education Credits (Value $25)

   Total value  $735


   Actual cost of program  $255
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